Rebuilding the Verification of Existence records my progress from the solitude of the Covid pandemic towards self-acceptance. In this process, I witnessed myself in various states of social distress. Limited activity, social distance and extended time spent alone led to anxiety, loneliness, fear, and confusion. In this society, being vulnerable, sentimental and authentic seems to be wrong. Those concentrated depressing emotions illustrate an image of myself that I have never seen before, and introduce me to the importance of self-acceptance. This thesis has become an act of self-improvement. I do not want to fight against these negative emotions; but rather, as in Eastern philosophy, I want to move with the resistance; to go with the flow.
During the Covid pandemic, NYC and the world has slowed down a bit; everything moves slowly. This allowed me to look at my surroundings and see things I have never seen before. Every object in this collection has a trace of real life. They visualize the beauty and fragility of these so-called negative feelings. Life’s traces bring nostalgic feelings of having a connection with someone or something. Words explaining emotions are abstract, general, and overused. Instead, I designed objects that can be touched by and connected with the body, to imitate and embody feelings. By incorporating transparent materials such as acrylic, resin and crystals with sterling silver, these feelings are captured in each piece of jewelry
The "self" in this collection includes not only me but also other people in similar situations. By touching these negative feelings, we ground ourselves in the world, assuring ourselves that we can exist in different ways to explore who we are and where we belong.